Funny Gifts for People That Dont Drink
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Get ready to LOL
Human beings, even ones you don't know that well, all have two things in common: They love to laugh, and they love getting gifts. In fact, speaking on behalf of all humans, if we may, we really can't decide which we love more—laughs or gifts. That, of course, is where gag gifting comes in. Gag gifts make the perfect stocking stuffers and white elephant gifts, but there is an art to choosing them. You'll want to find something that shows you know the other person and pokes a little good-natured fun at their quirks. "Good-natured" is the key phrase there.
From classic gag gifts to the strangest things you had no idea even existed, this list has it all. We're talking about everything from cat pants (for humans) to chicken harnesses (for actual chickens). Many of these will make the perfect gifts for your brother, but we've got something for everyone in your life. That said, you might want to balance out a joke gift with something a little more serious, depending on the occasion, so make sure you also check out our guides to the best gifts for men, women, and kids. Note: These gifts are best paired with the perfect ugly Christmas sweaters. Happy pranking!
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Snake in a Can
Best for: The kid in all of us
Let's start with a gag gift classic. When your gift recipient opens the Pringles-style potato-chip canister, out pops a stuffed snake! Hilarious, but probably most appropriate for tween boys. That said, we won't judge if you love it at your age.
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Fish Flops
Best for: Women who love their shoes
Nothing says "summer chic" like a set of freshly manicured toes poking out from the gaping kisser of a large-mouth bass. On the lake or at the barbecue, these fish flops are sure to turn heads. As far as funny gag gifts go, this one is a catch. (Sorry, we couldn't help ourselves!) We wouldn't recommend getting this gift for your girlfriend as the main present for a holiday, but it's an excellent extra.
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Do Not Disturb Gaming Socks
Best for: Gamers
Oh, sure, you and the gamer in your life may laugh at these socks, but you also both know they're true. And if you enter a room and find yourself on the business end of these expert communicators, you'd best step back. This could be a perfect Secret Santa gift, especially if you work in tech.
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Miniature Wacky Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man
Best for: Office workers
Hey, wait—you know this guy! In fact, you saw him most recently in the parking lot of a car dealership. Why, yes, it's Wacky Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man! Only miniature. And he's a teeny-tiny hoot! He'd look great on a desk at home or in the office. While you're on everyone's favorite website, check out these Amazon Prime gifts that will arrive quickly, too.
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Banana Phone Wireless Bluetooth Mobile Handset
Best for: Those who are attached to their cell phones
"You know that's a banana, right?"
"Yes."
"But it's a banana."
"I'm aware."
"You do realize, you're talking into a banana?"
Welcome to every day for the rest of your giftee's life—or as long as they continue to enjoy carrying around this banana-shaped wireless phone that actually works as a phone (but not so much as a banana). Pair it with one of these sleeker, more serious tech gifts and you can totally get away with giving this one, too.
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Blah Button
Best for: Introverts
The introvert in your life will love this small, battery-operated source of 12 hilarious phrases that are guaranteed to get them out of a boring conversation—quickly and with good humor. Your teen may also get a kick out of this one.
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Pet Sweep Dust Boots
Best for: Pet parents
Can't Fido learn to clean up after himself? Or, if not, perhaps your spouse could learn to operate a vacuum? If you're ready to address that elephant in the room, then you'll want this gag gift, which purports to be a set of four dog-sized shoes that double as Swiffer-type dry-mops. Of course, it's just an empty box that holds the "real" gift, whatever that may be—perhaps one of these gifts for dog lovers.
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Tiny Hands
Best for: SNL fans
Well, look at you. You seem to have a little trick up your sleeve! What prankster wouldn't love entertaining for hours in these, giving out high-fives to unsuspecting recipients and offering handshakes to new acquaintances? The possibilities are endless. We can only imagine the hilarity that would ensue from watching someone try to drink a glass of water with these. Who knows—they might even come in handy for an April Fools' prank.
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Burrito Tortilla Wrap Blanket
Best for: Anyone who unironically purchased a Snuggie when it first came out
Do you know someone who loves to snuggle in the coziest, cushiest throw blankets—or someone who really loves Mexican food? Or better yet, both? This tortilla blanket will turn them into a human burrito. It's the gift they've been waiting for their entire lives (but just didn't know it). You can also turn a newborn into a baby burrito with this pint-sized Kakaya swaddling blanket and baby hat.
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Animal Butt Magnets
Best for: People who love their fridge magnets
Butt seriously, folks, what is it about butts? They're just funny, no? And it doesn't get better than these Kikkerland farm-animal butt magnets, whose hilarity is amplified by the subtle discomfort your giftee will feel when they see their refrigerator festooned with the rear ends of cows, horses, roosters, and the like.
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3D Galaxy Cat Jogger Pants
Best for: Cat lovers (or haters!)
Can you think of a more purrfect gift for that friend who's always posting cat memes on social media? We can't.
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Anti-Lost Wrist Link
Best for: Parents
"Keep your kids at a safe distance while letting them explore the world around them" with this retractable wrist leash. For parents of toddlers, it might not be a gag gift. For parents of teenagers, it certainly is.
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Lightning Reaction Shocking Game
Best for: Mental health professionals
Got a friend who's a therapist, social worker, counselor, or psychiatrist? They'll totally get the joke if you give them this game, which ends each round with the losing player receiving a mini (non-harmful) electric shock. For something a little less shocking, try these classic board games everyone should own.
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Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat
Best for: Crazy cat ladies
You warned your parents about getting that second cat. But they didn't listen. Now, they're richer than they'd ever imagined…in feline fur. It's everywhere. So why not put it to good use? This book promises to show readers "how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts." OK, then! To get rid of pet hair instead of repurposing it, consider one of these top-rated vacuums for dog and cat hair.
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Three-Inch Violin
Best for: Drama queens
You know that person in your life who is constantly complaining and making a big deal out of nothing? Next time they start on a tear, if you can't offer your sympathy, you can still offer this gag gift: the world's tiniest violin. Yes, they might throw it at you, but hey, it's tiny! This would be a totally hilarious gift for your husband.
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Toilet Golf Set
Best for: Bathroom hogs who also happen to be golfers
Skewer his golf obsession and his time in the bathroom all with one funny gift! This golf set is perfect for keeping bathroom occupiers…occupied. This would be an absolutely hilarious gift for your father-in-law.
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Toilet Fishing Kit
Best for: Fishing aficionados
They don't need much prodding to tell you all about their latest fishing expedition, so they'll definitely take the bait if you give them this funny gift. (Even if that's not quite what you're going for here.) This Toilet Fishing Kit includes a mat, fish, rod, bowl, and Do Not Disturb sign. Here are more super affordable stocking stuffers for men.
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Public Toilet Survival Kit
Best for: Germaphobes
You might look at this as a hilarious gift for that friend or family member who would rather hold it in than visit a public bathroom, but honestly? It seems pretty darn useful to us, especially these days.
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Unisex Belly Stuffer
Best for: Dads-to-be
We all know that one guy who feels really miffed because his pregnant wife is getting all the attention. That guy needs this: a man-sized baby bump. He won't even think of it as a funny gag gift. He'll just be proud to wear his soon-to-be-a-parent status for all to see, and he'll be grateful when someone offers him their seat on the bus.
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Dad Bod Fanny Pack
Best for: Guys who don't take themselves too seriously
For gym rats, you might want to take the opposite (read: ironic) approach to gift-giving with this adjustable travel bag that doubles as a dad bod. For a man who takes his fitness seriously, it's a rare opportunity to let his dad-bod-flag fly.
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Bacon Air Freshener
Best for: Bacon lovers
They say bacon tastes better in Britain, but aren't we just splitting hairs? When is bacon not perfect just the way it is? That's not a rhetorical question because there's an actual answer: Bacon isn't perfect when you can't take it with you. But now you can! This bacon-scented air freshener is perfect for bacon lovers anywhere and everywhere. (Try to resist the urge to give this to your favorite vegetarian.)
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Squirrel in Underpants Deluxe Air Freshener
Best for: People who will literally laugh at anything
To be perfectly fair, we're not exactly sure what the punch line is here. But truth be told, this squirrel-wearing-underpants air freshener legit made us LOL.
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The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds
Best for: Self-appointed philosophers
Here we have the perfect gift for the philosopher in your life; the blending of high-brow and low-brow culture is seamless and incomparable. The juxtaposition of wisdom like "My only crime was that I was down to clown" and "Looking for trouble, and if I cannot find it, I will create it" with expressive birds is too much to bear. It's impossible to not laugh—and it's the perfect gift for grads who could use some gems upon entering the real world.
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NapSack Sleep Hood
Best for: Your favorite napper
Have you ever just wanted to throw a sack over your head and take nap—right here, right now? Well, now you can. And the wonderful thing is that if you can't see them, then no one can see you. Wait, no, that would be an invisibility cloak. This is merely a nap sack, but it is the perfect, gentle jab at the sleepyheads in your life.
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Mega Flask
Best for: Your drinking buddy
We all appreciate a good stiff drink every once in a while. Is there someone in your life who enjoys one every twice or thrice in a while? Then this is the gift for them. It's like a regular flask, but giant.
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Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass
Best for: Wine lovers
Here's a great funny gag gift for the person in your life who loves wine and can't seem to stop at just one glass. It's different from all the other giant wine glasses out there because it comes with its own bottle. Convenient!
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Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook
Best for: Home chefs…who have a naughty side
For that person who still can't stop talking about the Fift y Shades of Grey, or who just really likes to cook chicken (or, ideally, both), here's a funny gag gift that's actually quite practical. "With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shad es of Chi cken will have you dominating dinner," the ad copy boasts. And with recipes for dishes like "Dripping Thighs," "Vanilla Chicken," and "Mustard-Spanked Chicken," this doesn't appear to be an exaggeration.
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Blinker Fluid
Best for: That friend whose car keeps ending up in the shop
We just want to preface this upfront, because this could 1,000 percent work on some people. Blinker fluid is not real. Your blinkers do not need fluid to operate. That said, you know a mechanic would laugh and still sell you watered-down "blinker fluid" for an arm and a leg. Pair this gag gift with one of these car gadgets to balance out the good-natured ribbing.
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Chicken Harness and Matching Leash
Best for: The one who raises chickens
Out of gift ideas for that friend or family member who's impossible to buy a gift for, primarily because they already have literally everything under the sun? It's a safe bet they don't have this: a hen harness. And that's not a euphemism for anything. This is literally a harness to keep your chickens on a leash.
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Bad Parking Cards
Best for: The one with a touch of road rage
Know someone who always dissolves into angry rants over other people's driving and parking habits? Now they have an appropriate way to express themselves…without saying a word. With these little cards, the angry driver will definitely have the last word without actually "having words" with anyone.
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How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
Best for: Your cranky friend
"Do you find yourself yelling at the TV? Are you incapable of reading instruction manuals? If so, you're at risk of developing crotchety old man-itis, and this is the book for you." That's how this hilarious instructional manual is positioned on Amazon. But why get this funny book for yourself when you could gift it to your favorite cranky person to make them even crankier?
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Farting Dinosaur Coloring Book
Best for: Dinosaur lovers
If dinosaur-nerd Ross Geller were an actual person, as opposed to a character on a television show, this would be the perfect gift for him. But for the most part, this one is best reserved for grade-school kids and teenagers who think farting is funny.
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Pooping Animals Coloring Book
Best for: People who love poop jokes
Here's a scatologically skewed coloring book for pet lovers and pretty much anyone else. You just have to appreciate that everybody poops, and that includes animals. A love of coloring helps too. But even without a love for coloring, this funny gag gift will likely get a laugh—especially if it's a gift for boys.
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Female Urination Device
Best for: The woman who always needs to make a pit stop
The truth is, this probably wasn't meant to be a gag gift. In fact, judging by the thousands of five-star reviews, it looks like the GoGirl female urination device might be quite legit as a sort of stand-in for a female urinal. And for that friend of yours who has to punctuate everything you guys ever do together with a visit to the ladies' room, it could be life-changing (or not). It also makes a funny gift for that woman you know who loves to complain about how unfair it is that only men can "go number one" standing up. Problem solved.
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100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings: How to Get by Without Even Trying
Best for: Corporate types
Pacing, nodding, laughing at your boss's jokes. Most of us know some of these tricks, but imagine if you knew all of them? Would it even be remotely fair to the rest of the world? For that reason, this is a book best given as a gift. Give it to literally anyone in corporate America.
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The Book of Useless Information
Best for: Trivia buffs
If you have a know-it-all in your life or even a wannabe know-it-all, they may not think the information in this book is useless at all. It contains 704 pages of things they probably don't know but would never admit to not knowing. It's also a great gag gift for anyone who genuinely loves trivia and also that tween of yours who never seems to stop asking questions that stump you. You also may want to check out these unique gifts for book lovers (that aren't actually books).
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The Totally Awesome Book of Useless Information
Best for: Kids who think they know everything
Because of its bright colors and cartoon drawings, it might look as this book is the kiddie version of The Book of Useless Information. And it will appeal to the younger set, perhaps more than a 704-page tome like the latter book. However, its style is universally appealing, and giving a kids' book filled with trivial information to an adult is also a hilarious idea.
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Desktop Mini Bowling Set
Best for: Bowlers
You don't have to be an avid bowler to get a kick out of this desktop-sized mini bowling set. Nor do you even have to have a desktop to put this set to good use. You just have to love a little mindless fun, particularly if it involves knocking stuff down.
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"Mother F'N Homeowner" Candle
Best for: New homeowners
Finding the right place isn't easy. But closing the deal and moving in? That's even harder, especially once you start dealing with those little, shall we say, issues that the previous owners didn't mention. This candle will lovingly acknowledge your new abode, aka "the money pit," and make the perfect housewarming gift.
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Shocking Chewing Gum
Best for: Old-school pranksters
Here, have a stick of gum, you say. You hold out what appears to be a freshly opened pack of Wrigley's Doublemint gum. We, being both gullible and fairly non-observant, fail to notice that this only kinda looks like an actual pack of Wrigley's Doublemint. So, we go ahead and reach for a piece of gum—only to receive a weird little electrical shock to the hand. All of this is to say that this gag gift isn't mere child's play. At least that's what the manufacturer seems to be implying when it says this little prank is "not suitable for children."
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Nose-Picking Pencil Sharpener
Best for: Kids who love gross humor
Kids still use pencils, and as far as we know, there isn't yet an app for sharpening them. As a result, what kid wouldn't need a pencil sharpener? Especially when it is a pencil sharpener meant to look like a nose. When you go to sharpen a pencil, it looks like there's a pencil coming out of a nose or you're jabbing the nose with a pencil. According to the manufacturer's specifications, it's "life-sized and lifelike," although that really seems beside the point.
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"Zombies Eat Brains: Don't Worry, You're Safe" Sweatshirt
Best for: Fans of the zombiepocalypse genre
It's both a sweatshirt and an insult to every person whose path you happen to cross. Does it get any better? This makes a great gag gift for your friend who refers to I Am Legend as "iconic" and regularly debates what went wrong with The Walking Dead. Or you can just keep it for yourself if you want to be a monster. (See what we did there?)
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Bob Ross Bobblehead
Best for: Forever fans of Joy of Painting's Bob Ross
You may not currently know which of the people on your gift list is a candidate for the Bob Ross bobblehead. But all you need to do to find out is to say to each of them, apropos of nothing, "Let's paint some happy little trees," and see how they react. Fans of the chillest oil painter, or at least the chillest oil painter anyone's ever seen on television, will swoon. In that case, give them the Bob Ross Bobblehead.
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Bob Ross Chia Head
Best for: People who love kitschy items
There's truly a Chia version of everything—from Baby Yoda to the Golden Girls to poop emojis. And yes, there's even a Bob Ross Chia Head. If the person you're shopping for is a fan of the painter, so what if they already have one? Can you honestly ever have too many Bob Ross Chia Heads? By the way, that Baby Yoda reference made you perk up, check out these awesome Baby Yoda gifts and Star Wars gifts.
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Spider Prank Box
Best for: Arachnophobes
"Just hand the box to someone and they will naturally want to slide the top open to see what is inside," reads this funny gag gift's instructions. "When they do, out jumps a creepy wiggly rubber spider!" They also suggest that you leave it in places where it's possible for people to "discover it on their own. Maybe even set up your video camera to capture the moment!" We don't know about you, but we see a YouTube moment in the making.
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Dehydrated Water
Best for: The over-prepared
Back in the mid–20th century, some people were building fall-out shelters. Today, they're the reason why the supermarkets still can't stay ahead of their customers' toilet paper demand. If you have someone like this on your gift list, then you can't go wrong with Witty Yeti's Dehydrated Water. It's a marvelous invention, really. Just add water, and voilà —you have water!
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"I'm the Reason We're Late" Onesie
Best for: New parents
One of the most maddening things about people who are always running late is that they think if they tell us why they're running late, then that ought to let them off the hook. (And if you're a chronic late-arriver, you're probably scratching your head, wondering why that shouldn't be.) We're not judging. We're often running late, ourselves. And that's how we know this onesie is so brilliant. Because finally, thanks to the tiny person wearing it, there is a reason for your chronic lateness. Give this as a gift for your sister to acknowledge the baby drama.
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"Chicks Are All Over Me" Onesie
Best for: Your baby nephew
Why does this qualify as a gag gift? Because whoever dresses their baby in this particular onesie, which has chicks literally festooned all over it, is going to find themselves on the receiving end of "witty" comments all day long.
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Personalized Potato
Best for: Anyone (really, why not?)
No one ever needs a potato personalized with their own image on it. But sometimes one wants things that one doesn't need. And sometimes one wants the people on their gift list to know that they've really been "seen." Well, Potato Parcel's personalized potato will accomplish that. Plus, whoever receives this personalized gift will not only get a good laugh—they'll also get an actual Idaho potato!
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Instant Underpants
Best for: Highbrow friends and family
It doesn't get too much more lowbrow than underpants, does it? So have a little ironic fun with the highest of highbrow members of your friend group or your family by giving them the gift of "instant underpants." They've literally dehydrated underpants and packaged them, and the manufacturer claims they're designed to fit most adults, in case wearing these instant underpants is actually a concern of yours.
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Lingerie T-shirt
Best for: Brides-to-be
Every bridal shower has to have at least one gag gift, right? Well, if that's not a rule, then it should be. That's what best friend gifts are for! Lots of people give lingerie as a bridal shower gift. Sometimes tasteful, sometimes tacky. But what about the bride-to-be who sleeps in sweats and intends to keep it that way? Now she'll have this T-shirt that doubles as lingerie! Checkmate!
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Deer Pong Game
Best for: College kids
Look, you can tell your kid that you'd rather they not participate in the whole typical college drinking scene, but it's not like you can enforce that. So, why not offer them an alternative? Instead of beer pong, give them "Deer Pong." It's from the Hasbro toy company, just like Monopoly and My Little Pony!
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Dad Jokes Deck
Best for: Dads
Dad jokes experts will tell you that dad jokers aren't born—they're made. And while some might claim that it takes a few years of dirty diapers and sleepless nights to fully unlock one's dad joke capabilities, we have actually found the perfect shortcut: this deck of ready-made dad jokes. Because it's never too soon to learn to make your kids cringe. Or to teach your own dad to make you cringe.
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Emoji Beach Balls
Best for: Emoji overusers (or emoji haters)
Emojis are ubiquitous, and even though they haven't been around forever, they've been around long enough that some people rely on them instead of using their words. Give any such people on your list these beach ball-sized emoji balls. Or give them to someone who still doesn't know what an eggplant means.
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Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person Without Actually Improving Yourself
Best for: Self-help devotees
If you have someone on your gift list who can't get enough outside resources on the topic of self-help, we have an ironically funny gift for you to give them: a book called Faking It. Hey, it's honest and probably pretty helpful!
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Ravensburger Krypt Puzzle
Best for: That couple who always makes you do puzzles with them when you visit
For people who couldn't care less about putting together jigsawed pieces of cardboard to make a picture they already saw on the box, having friends who are puzzle fanatics offers a special brand of torment. But you love your friends. So, give them a puzzle like this Ravensberger Krypt puzzle, which doesn't result in an image at all—just a single color. Here's why it's a win-win: If your giftees find themselves shoving this puzzle off the table in frustration, they'll understand how you feel. If they end up getting super into it, then you just gave them a great gift! Here are more of the hardest puzzles you can buy on Amazon.
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Pimple Pete Game
Best for: Dr. Pimple Popper video addicts
For fans of Dr. Pimple Popper, here's the perfect gross-out funny gag gift: a game presented by Dr. Pimple Popper that encourages the players (rewards them, even!) to squeeze and pop pus-filled pimples to their heart's content—without ruining their skin. Just watch out for that mega zit. It's a doozy.
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Marijuana leaf-shaped cookie cutters
Best for: Residents of states where marijuana has been legalized for recreational use
It's not that you can't use these marijuana-shaped cookie cutters for treats that aren't infused with THC or CBD. It's just that in states where marijuana has been legalized for recreational use, your giftees will have double the possibilities.
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Somehow I Manage by Michael C. Scott
Best for: Fans of The Office
For fans of this classic show, Michael Scott's managerial antics never get old. Sadly for them, the series stopped putting out new episodes years ago. But you can bring back a little genuine laughter with this blank book that is meant to look like an actual book (of useless information) by the hilarious lead character made famous by Steve Carell.
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"Let That Sh*t Go" Glass
Best for: Yoga devotees
You don't need yoga to enjoy the present moment—not if a nice glass of wine does the trick. And for lots of folks, wine does just fine in that respect. Of course, this wine glass, emblazoned with the words "Let that sh*t go," can be used for meditative and non-meditative wine drinking. Love a funny wine quote? We've got 30 of the finest vintages.
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"Mr. Right" and "Mrs. Always Right" Glasses
Best for: Happy couples
Clearly, they know the secret to successful couplehood. Show them you do, too, with these "Mr. Right" and "Mrs. Always Right" wine and beer glasses. If you're looking for a funny gift idea for your wife, this just might be it!
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"Caution: Senior Driver" Car Magnet
Best for: People who hate getting older
It's the AARP's way of saying happy birthday, but that first envelope from the organization while you're still in your 40s can feel a little aggressive. And that's ironic considering how seniors are known to drive, which is to say, not aggressively. But whatever kind of driver your aging friend or family member happens to be, it can't hurt to give them this car magnet. That way, no matter how well they drive, their advanced age will be clear to all who see them pass.
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Officially Retired Napping Eye Mask
Best for: Proud retirees
They've been there, they've done that. They've seen the business world and raised it. Now, they're free to rest on their laurels. Make it clear where their priorities lie with this not-so-subtle eye mask.
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Custom Look-Alike Puppet
Best for: Someone who's worth the splurge
This gag gift is not cheap. But if you have a spare $475 and they deserve it, why not have a custom-made puppet created for this person in their own likeness? You know who has something like this? The chef who made the weird but delicious food combination of maple and bacon go together like chocolate and peanut butter, David Burke.
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Grow a Boyfriend
Best for: That friend who just joined Match.com
Who needs online dating when you can grow your own partner? Especially when this one doesn't care what you spend on shoes. It's also available in "Grow a Girlfriend" because if it's good for the gander, then it's got to be good for the goose.
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Useless Box
Best for: Your mom, who always insists that she doesn't need a gift
Why give the very best when you can give…a useless box? When you've been told "no gifts—I don't need anything!" for the umpteenth year in a row, it might just be time to rebel. And how better to rebel than to present a literally useless box?
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White Elephant Door Stopper
Best for: Your contribution to the office white elephant party
It's cute. It's functional. Moreover, it's an elephant, which is a majestic beast. In fact, the term white elephant actually refers to the practice of "nuisance gifting" by the very wealthy—of things like tigers and elephants. And that makes this a particularly clever gift in the context of a white elephant gift exchange with coworkers.
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Fake Braces
Best for: Your favorite tween
There comes a time in every tween's life when they either have a mouthful of metal or a handful of friends who do. This braces-bejeweled mouthguard will make them roll their eyes in the best possible way.
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The Master Prankster's Gift Box
Best for: Your whole merry band of pranksters
"We put together what we believe to be the best prank kit around," the manufacturer boasts on Amazon. "We did not fill it with a bunch of useless items just to make it look like you are getting a bunch of items. We hand-selected all our items and have tested them on our victims." We like the way they think, don't you? Get this box of gag gifts for the whole group and share all the glorious pranks inside among yourselves. Just don't try to prank one another because now they're onto you. Next, check out these last-minute gifts for everyone on your list.
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Originally Published: December 31, 1969
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/funny-gag-gifts-family/
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